Talking to Big Groups

Hey guys,

It's been a crazy weekend back in Toronto, and I haven't had time to pop in to post over the weekend. But now I'm back home so it's back to business!

Today we're talking about a huge but extremely complex aspects of game: Groups. It's happened to all of us. You're at the bar with your friends and you look over and see a group of 5 or 6 people, all gathered together, drinking, chatting, having their own party, and in the middle of it all, there she is. The bombshell. The turbo hunnie. The 10. She's surrounded by her friends, some are guys, some girls. You'd give anything to talk to her, but she seems completely inaccessible. So you blame it on bad timing, move on, and go settle for that 7 standing alone at the bar. Well guys, from this day forward, there's gonna be no more of that.

What most guys don't realize is that big groups of people are as approachable as other smaller groups or girls standing alone. There is just a different way of going about it. The idea behind this is that if you are a cool, approachable, fun guy, everyone is going to want in on that. It doesn't matter whether it's a girl standing around alone at the bar or a group of 6 people.  If you're a cool, fun guy, anyone will want to meet you!

The key is to get everyone in on the fun. This is the idea most guys don't seem to grasp and because of this, they give up before trying. They think to themselves "Hey, how am I supposed to walk up to this girl and start talking to her while she's with her friends". That's a pretty good question, and the answer is you don't. The girl doesn't know you, and she does not want to be separated from the group at the moment, so instead of going against what she wants, approach the group as a whole first. Don't walk up to them as the reject that's obviously about to interrupt their conversation just so he can hit on one of their friends. Talk to everyone in the group; if there's a guy/guys in the group, talk to him too (I actually don't mind approaching the guy and talking to him briefly before I talk to the girls), and try not to give the girl you want way more attention than anyone else. This will make her feel more comfortable around you, as well as gaining the approval of her friends as well. Always remember, just approaching the group and talking to them instead of trying to pull the girl away from her friends turns you from the sketchy random guy at the bar to that cool, funny guy they met over the weekend who had all those great stories about the crazy adventures in his life. Now that sounds like the kind of guy the girl probably came out to find in the first place.

It's no harder to win over a group than it is a person one on one, the key is making sure you are trying to win over the group before the girl. Once you feel less like a stranger to the group, the girl will have gained some comfort with you and probably wants to get to know you a bit better anyways. On top of that, now that her friends see what a great guy you are, they aren't going to cockblock you with this girl, making everything go a lot smoother. Instead of viewing the friends as obstacles and antagonizing them, think of them as your personal cheerleaders, who are all helping you on your way to land this girl.

Just remember, what you have to show her and her friends is that she's getting just as much out of it as you are! Once you've done that, the rest is cake.

As always, if you guys have any questions about any topics we've covered or suggestions of things you want us to focus on, feel free to email us at alphaacademy@live.com.

Cheers boys,

Sasha
The Professors